Another Spectator Competition: Glasto & Glynders

The Spectator recently set another parody competition in which a Waugh entry received honorable mention but once again was not among those published. See previous post. This was described by columnist Lucy Vickery as:

… Competition No. 3157 [in which] you were invited to describe a visit to Glastonbury or Glyndebourne in the style of an author of your choice.

Highlights in an especially hotly contested week — oh, for more space! — were Timothy Clegg’s John Masefield, R.M. Goddard’s John Cooper Clarke, John Mounsey’s Evelyn Waugh, Hugh King’s Edward Gibbon, Anthony Bevan’s Rev. James Woodforde, Anthony Whitehead’s Martin Amis, C. Paul Evans’s Wordsworth, Nicholas W.S. Cranfield’s Samuel Pepys and several admirable Austens.

And again, the parodist J C H Mounsey has kindly agreed to allow us to post his unpublished entry. It was well worth the praise it was given. Be sure to read it through to the end:

The noise was deafening. Mr Pinfold stayed still, stupefied and bewildered. He had never been much interested in music and he disliked crowds. He turned his head and everywhere saw only rapt faces. One of his legs had gone to sleep. He shifted his weight, accidentally kicking his neighbour, who gave no sign of having noticed. He tried to speak to his companion (surely Boots couldn’t be enjoying this stuff?) but was unable to make himself heard above the vast wall of sound that rolled over him from the direction of the stage. He discovered that his ankles were entangled in an overcoat that had mysteriously appeared at his feet. Kicking it away and deaf to the rising hubbub of aggrieved voices, he began pushing past the line of bodies and eventually found the exit. Inside the Glyndebourne auditorium, unmoved by Mr Pinfold’s defection, the Valkyries continued their thunderous ride.

Once again, thanks to all concerned.

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